Harry Pottermint
by Calendia
Summary: Do you like Harry Potter? Do you like Peppermints? Then you'll like this! The plot is rather silly right now, but it will get better, trust us. Read me, read me!
1. Two Surprise Visits

This is a story written by two friends, Calendia and The Lady Shieldmaiden, about the adventures of Harry Potter and co.  
  
Disclaimer: We do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters. They are owned by J.K. Rowling and we are borrowing them for a while. Normally we would say the words are our own, but we have come into the realization that they are not. We do not own the words either. We're not sure who does, perhaps Webster. Ah well! Here goes our rather silly tale:  
  
Once upon a time.well, no.it wasn't on a time, it was during a time.okay start over.Once during a time.but then again, if you think about it everything is during a time.so.Once, Harry was sitting thinking thoughtfully while eating peppermints, a delightful Muggle treat. What was he thinking thoughtfully about you may ask? Well.let me tell you.he was thinking thoughtfully about a surprise visit he had had earlier from a strange little house-elf named Doby or Doby.  
Doby had said while hitting his head on a chair, "Doby mustn't tell Harry Potter to stop eating peppermints.  
And he said again, "But they are bad for Harry Potter's health, they are!!!"  
"Bad Doby, very bad Doby"  
Harry had asked, "What in the world are you talking about?"  
"Ah sir! You mustn't ask poor Doby! Dark deeds will take place concerning peppermints, but Harry Potter, he must not eat."  
"Stop Doby, stop!! We mustn't warn Harry Potter."  
Harry sat there and watched Doby, who was now running and slamming his body against the wall, and absent-mindedly popped a peppermint into his mouth.  
"No Harry Potter!!!" said Doby as he stubbed his toe over and over against the bedpost. "You don't want to get fat do you? Just look at your aunt and uncle. And besides.other evils might befall!!!!"  
"Stupid, fat Doby!!! Stop talking. We must leave now!" And with that the Doby, or as it would seem, Dobies, ran and jumped out the window doing a particularly fine belly-flop on the pavement below, and then walked down the street rubbing a bruise on his forehead.  
As Harry sat there he now he pondered what to do. On the one hand Doby, crazy though he seemed, thought it would be deadly to eat peppermints. On the other hand he couldn't stop eating them!!! They were as we said before, a delightful treat, very addicting. Harry felt his mind wander and began to wonder what peppermints would taste like if dipped in ranch dressing.wait no.he must keep his mind on task!! Were peppermints really lethal? Or were the Dobies just acting.weird?  
Just then his best friend, the redheaded Ron Weasley, was peering in at the window. Harry sat up suddenly, a peppermint falling from his mouth and stared at the face. Seeing whom it was he went to the window and noticed that the car his friend and his friend's brothers, Fred and George, were in was rather levitated.or in other words it was flying.  
"You wanna come to my house?" said Ron, grinning.  
"Yeah, you betcha! Let's rock! I'll bring the peppermints," replied Harry hoisting an unusually large bag of them into his partially packed trunk. He quickly finished packing (which included sneaking down to the cupboard under the stairs, in which he used to reside, and gathering his things for school), and then he, with the help of George, swung the trunk into the car and they all flew, or drove, or I guess we could say they flove into the night sky.  
  
~Shieldmaiden: Well, that raps it up for now!!! *Calendia: Yup, yup, yup!!!! ~Shieldmaiden: So, we'll write more tomorrow. *Calendia: *singing* Tomorrow, tomorrow.. *~ Both: Its only a daaaayyy aaaaaawaaaayyyy!!!!!!!  
  
Serious note: We wrote this over the phone tonight and are very hyper, so please forgive us. However, if you enjoyed this, or even if you didn't, feel free to review and let us know what you think. Ta-ta!!!! 


	2. Of Anchovies

This is the second chapter of our Harry Pottermint story. Enjoy!!!  
  
Disclaimer: As we said before, we still do not own any of these characters. We tried to get J. K. Rowling to sell them to us, but unfortunately she still needs them for her next two books. Also, we looked up who the words belong to (as we do not have enough money to buy all of them), and discovered that they are indeed Webster's. Rich man indeed! Well, here is our humorous tale:  
  
Anchovies, rather nasty if you think about them.I mean they're all salty and bony and slimy.and well, think about what they eat!!!  
  
Anyways, I suppose we should be speaking of Harry Potter at the moment, and he was definitely not eating anchovies. On the contrary he was enjoying a mid-day snack of peppermints, a treat that he had just introduced to Ron.  
  
When they first got to the Burrow (the Weasley's home) Ron had asked him, "So what are these peppermints anyway? Are they a mixture of pepper and mint? Bleah."  
  
"No, they are really good, try one!" replied Harry without even thinking about the dangers of which he had so recently (being the day before) been warned about.  
  
Just as Ron popped a peppermint in his mouth, ready for some nasty trick that Fred and George may have convinced Harry to play on him, he felt a strange burning sensation in his cheek.  
  
"Ymmmm, yese yar yeally yood!!!" yelled young Ron with the peppermint on his tongue (which explains his weird "yuh" language). "Yikes!!!" he said again as his cheeks suddenly began to turn red and splotchy and itch. Then spitting the candy out he asked with a hurt voice, "Did Fred and George put you up to this?"  
  
"No, they didn't! I don't know what's going on!" cried Harry in complete confusion, seriously considering the careful warning of the crazy Doby the night prior.  
  
With that Mrs. Weasley, who had heard Ron's yell's, came in the room and looking startled declared, "Oh my!" She got out her wand and pointed it at Ron and said, "Non Allergiarmus." Ron's redness, and blotches went away at once.  
  
"Did he eat peppermints?" asked Mrs. Weasley in a worried tone.  
  
"Yeah, how did you know?" asked Harry, while Ron looked in the mirror and felt his face.  
  
"Well I am also allergic to peppermints, along with my father, and my father's father, and my father's father's mother," said Mrs. Weasley. She glanced apologetically at Ron, "It's genetic dearie, but I didn't think you'd ever get a chance to eat any as they are a Muggle.er.delicacy."  
  
"Uh.sure.um anyways.I was thinking since y'all are being so kind as to.erm.house me.erm.I would make you dinner tonight?!"  
  
"Oh, that would be lovely!!! How sweet art thou, dearest Harry!" said Mrs. Weasley, hands placed over her heart in a sort of tragic stance, as Ron raised an eyebrow. She continued as Ron and Harry snuck out of the room and ran down the stairs to begin dinner, "Oh my 'lovely boys', sweet though they be, have never had the thought to perform for me that service which thou hast now offered..."  
  
Once they got into the kitchen and Harry looked into the cupboards to see what was available for use he saw what is sometimes termed "pizza makings." All that was missing was pepperoni. A song popped into his head and he almost started to sing, "Oh pepperoni, pepperoni, pepper-pepperoni!!!" However, he stopped himself before it was to late.  
  
Just at that moment, to the surprise of all, Mr. Weasley, Ron's father who worked for the Ministry of Magic in the Miss-use of Muggle Artifacts division, walked in the door.  
  
"Crikey, good-day mate! What's up Harry?" said Mr. Weasley.  
  
"Ummm..well..I was just about to make dinner," explained Harry in a rather confused voice. "Hey.. could.."  
  
But before Harry could finish speaking Ron practically bowled him over, because he had just seen his broom go zooming past the window outside. Harry just stared after his friend as he ran out the door and did a nose- dive trying to ground his broom.  
  
"Crikey!!! What's up with 'im?" Mr. Weasley asked rather astonished. "Anyways, Harry mate, wert thou going to ask my humble self something?"  
  
"Ummm.yeah." said Harry even more confused then he was before. "Could you.em...transfigure those anchovies into.well..pepperoni?"  
  
Mr. Weasley gave Harry a strange look and brought out his wand. Before he said anything he said, "Erm.Harry wouldst thou be so good as to remind me what shape these..erm...pepperonis generally appear in, mate?"  
  
Harry returned the strange glance and replied, "Well..I think they are usually...round?"  
  
"Oh, right!!!"  
  
Mr. Weasley lifted his wand and *poof* the anchovies became..CDs? "Crikey! That isn't right mate, is it?"  
  
"Nooo," Harry said staring at the CDs momentarily wondering what bands they were of.  
  
Then the man raised his wand again and this time the CDs transformed into quarters, an American money that neither had seen before. Mr. Weasley was fascinated by it and it took several minutes before Harry could persuade him to resume his original task.  
  
Next they became, wonder of wonders..peppermints!!!! What a coinkydink!  
  
"Wait a minute!" Mr. Weasley exclaimed. "Pepperoni! It's a typed of meat isn't it mate?"  
  
"Yeeesss," replied Harry very slowly in order to insure Mr. Weasley's understanding.  
  
Mr. Weasley again lifted his wand, with a sigh, and the peppermints were transformed first into bologna, and then finally..pepperonis!!!!  
  
Harry thanked Mr. Weasley profusely and then ussured him out of the kitchen. Then Harry set to work.  
  
Harry began to sing to himself, "Oh pepperoni, pepperoni, pepper- pepperoni!!!" And three shakes of a dog's tail later, they were all sitting around the table and eating pepperoni pizza!!! Ron looked particularly dirty and mangled from his squabble with his broomstick. Also, another person, besides the family, was added to the company...Hermione!!! They all sat there and talked to each other about this and that.  
  
A/N: Calendia is not helping at all!!! She's just lying on the floor pretending to burp. She says she's "practicing" what for I have no idea.  
  
A/N: Calendia: I am too helping!!! I suggested the "pepperoni song" and "three shakes later" and the squabble with the broomstick. So.bllllttttt..thank you!!!  
  
A/N: Shieldmaiden: Be quiet, they're trying to listen to the story. Wait..I mean read it..  
  
In the middle of the dinner Ron said, "Mmm.these little round meat thing-a- ma-bobbers are really good. What are they called Harry?"  
  
"Pepperoni."  
  
Ron turned an ashen color and yelled, "Agh!!!!! Are these things related to those mints?? Mom, mom!! Am I turning red?"  
  
Harry felt slightly offended that Ron didn't think he could tell whether he was red or not as Mrs. Weasley responded, "Crikey mate! Stop all the shouting! Don't overreact. They have nothing to do with peppermints."  
  
"Oh," said Ron slightly embarrassed.  
  
"Yea, thou dear sweet wife! Who is fairest among the red-haired lilies of the valley!" responded Mr. Weasley in response to his wife's comment.  
  
*Calendia: Well, that's all folks!  
  
~Shieldmaiden: Yup, yup, yup!!!  
  
*Calendia: Come back y'all ya hear?  
  
~Shieldmaiden: Ya, and if there is anything you ever learn about Texas, I want you to know that Texas is big and Texas is diverse!!!!!  
  
*Calendia: Random  
  
*~Both: *singing* Oh, pepperoni, pepperoni, pepper-pepperoni!!!!!  
  
Serious note: REVIEW!!!!! If you feel like!!! We don't want to infringe upon your generous hospitality of reading our rather..erm...goofy (to say the least) story. But please, pretty please, pretty please with an elf maiden and cherries on top!!!! Review. *Calendia: How can a please be pretty? If you have any idea about that, please (pretty please) review. 


	3. Of smiles

A/N: Okies, we need to tell you, that while we know these first few chapters are very weird, and this one is too, they all will be weird, but we will get to the actual plot in the next chapter (or the one after that, or so we think).  
  
Disclaimer: Well, we still do not own anything that is owned by J.K. Rowling. Well, that's kind of a given, but anyway.oh, and we have discovered that Webster, upon his death distributed the words among his heirs and they have since been passed down from generation to generation, and actually my good friend owns the word 'hippopotamus', but that is beside the point. Anyhow, the words are now so widespread, that it is a hopeless case, and we can only hope that we don't get sued for borrowing without consent (otherwise known as commandeering the words).  
  
Smile.we'll have to find out who owns that word. It means to have or make an expression with the corners of the mouth raised, usually expressing amusement, pleasure, or approval. Or perhaps, something that the dictionary did not mention was that you might smile, because you have just indulged in the delightful flavor of a peppermint.  
  
Later the same day (being the day of the dinner which Harry had prepare), Hermione, Ron, and..Harry (sometimes its so hard to remember his name) were sitting in a circle on the floor of Ron's room, with Fred and George, playing "Trivial Pursuit: The Lord of the Rings."  
  
"I have a throbbing pain in my elbow!" exclaimed Ron suddenly, right as he was asked the question, "Whose last words in the second movie are: 'All our hopes now lie with two little Hobbits..somewhere in the wilderness'?"  
  
Hermione responded, "Yeah right, you just don't know the answer and want to get out of it!"  
  
"No! Really, I do! I hit it while tackling my broomstick," Ron closed his eyes in thoughtful thought. "Let's see, it wasn't Aragorn...well, maybe it was...no..it was Sam..wait no...he was one of the two little hobbits...Boromir...no..he's dead...poor guy...Haldir..no he's dead too..that Peter Jackson, how dare he kill off Haldir..he has such a cute nose...I bet Haldir's least favorite book is, Peter Jackson Wants You Dead!!!!...let's see..it wasn't Frodo...was it Merry.no Pippin...wait no..Gimli..no...Legolas."  
  
When Ron said Legolas, Hermione's head shot up and Harry muttered under his breath, "Leggo my eggo."  
  
Then Ron continued, "Not Legolas..he only says random things..like...'A Diversion'...ummmm..Sauron...wait no..he's the bad guy..the eye dude..okay.IT WAS GANDALF!!!" Ron shouted with a delighted look.  
  
"That's right!!!," said Fred as he yawned and put the card back in the deck.  
  
As Ron had gotten the question correct, he got another, and it was this, "Who was the ring-bearer?"  
  
Ron stated in a know-it-all voice (which thoroughly implied a holier-than- thou attitude), "Well, there were actually more than one ring- bearer's..there was Sam, Frodo, Sauron, Celebrimbor, Bilbo, Gollum..yuchhh..I'm going to say that the answer they want is..the River."  
  
Hermione rolled her eyes as George gave him a thumbs down sign, "Ron..its Frodo."  
  
Ron slapped his forehead in disgust, "Aw man..that was my next guess!"  
  
"Right!" said Harry as he drew a card for Hermione.  
  
Hermione closed her eyes as if meditating, then she breathed in deeply, and said (as if in a type of trance), "I'm ready."  
  
"O.k.here goes...'What scene in the first movie was previsualized by Peter Jackson wearig a virtual reality headset?'"  
  
"Oh!" exclaimed Hermione. "That's easy!!! The attack by the cave troll in Moria, right?"  
  
"Yup, the Moria Cave Troll attack, that's right," said Harry.  
  
"Oh dear, I didn't get the exact wording," Hermione responded in disgust. She then picked up the die, and rolled it.  
  
Again, Harry picked a card and read the question, "How many petals are on the flower that Théoden holds at his son's burial?"  
  
Hermione responded, "Oh, that's eight!"  
  
"Huh.what did you do? Pause the movie and count?" asked Ron with obvious awe and envy.  
  
"Of course! What, do you think I would let an opportunity like that to slip past my fingers? Ron, I thought you knew me better."  
  
Right after Hermione won the game (because of the flower question), they group went downstairs to watch all three of the Lord of the Rings movies. Harry had conveniently brought the movies and a DVD player and Dudley's broken TV that Harry had fixed with his skilled fingers.  
  
During the second movie, The Two Towers, at a very touching scene where Théoden mourned his dead son, Théodred, Harry blew his nose and Ron paused the movie, walked up to the screen, and began to count the petals on the flower. As Ron did this Harry whispered to Hermione, "I jud luv thid scene!"  
  
Hermione nodded in agreement and the movie began to play again.  
  
"He was strong in life. He will find his way to the Halls of your Father's," said Gandalf in an encouraging tone, and just then, the TV went ka-blooey (in other words, it blew up). At this Harry sobbed even more and leaned on Hermione's arm, who cried out, "I'm wet!"  
  
Fred and George, who had been laying upside down on the couch, jumped up and then sank back onto the couch feeling woozy as the blood rushed out of their heads.  
  
All five of them, just sat there and stared at the place where the TX had been, except for Harry who had an occasional hiccup, and Ron who said, "Where..where...did it...go?  
  
And then light came through the window and shon upon Harry's face, and strange though it was in that hour, he smiled.  
  
*Calendia: Yaaay!!!! ~Shieldmaiden: Well, b.dab.a.b...that's all folks!!!! Okay, so I can't do Porky Pig, big deal!!!! *Calendia: Iay eakspay igpay atinlay! Ortsnay ortsnay!!!!!!! ~Shieldmaiden: That's very nice mellon nîn, mitho orch!!!! *Calendia: Wait..what? ~Shieldmaiden: Go kiss an orc, dear! *Calendia: Awwww...eanmay eadhay. ~Shieldmaiden: That's not very nice! You shouldn't call people mean heads!!! You.you..nard!!! Wait, no..you're a spikenard! So, ha! *Calendia: Well, you are an ardnay!!!!  
  
Okay, that was weird, anyhow, please read and review!!!! Pretty please with an elven maiden on top!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I personally can not wait until the next chapter! (You figure out who said that) hehe!!!! Yebay!!!!! 


	4. Of Messages

Disclaimer: These are not my socks, but that doesn't matter. Oh yeah, and we don't own these character either. But we have discovered that if we combine the right of free speech, and Freedom of the press then we, as the Author, can use whatever words we want. Therefore we don't have to ask Webster, or any of his descendants' permission to use the words.  
  
Messages are amusing. There are random messages, business messages, formal messages, and friendly messages, messages with no point, messages with a point, and messages with pickle juice spilt on them.  
  
Coincidently, Harry had just received a message, but it did not have pickle juice spilt on it. It was a message from Hogwarts, with a list of school supplies he would need for the school year.  
  
"Oh darlings," I need to get down to Diagon Alley myself, sometime today, just give me your lists and I'll take care of it for you." Said Mrs. Weasley.  
  
So that day as Harry, Ron, Hermione, Fred, and George, played Quitich, Mrs. Weasley bought all of their school supplies, and by the next morning they were on the train headed to Hogwarts.  
  
As they sat in their compartment and ate Chocolate Frogs, they talked about ways they could trick Malfoy.  
  
"Mabey," Said Ron "We could cover him with honey, and set a bear loose in the castle!"  
  
"Oh yeah Ron, great idea, lets set a man-eating bear loose in the castle!" Said Hermione.  
  
"Well Malfoy desererves it, he is such a...." But ron didn't get to finish, because right then Malfoy opened the compartment door.  
  
"My ears are burning, were you talking about me?"  
  
"If we give you a Chocolate frog will you go away?" Hermione asked with a grin.  
  
"Sure!" Malfoy grabed a huge box of chocolate frogs and ran out of the room.  
  
All this time Harry had been rather quiet. "Whats the matter mate?" Ron asked him. But Harry couldn't answer him, for he had eaten one of Mrs. Weasley's peanut butter sandwiches and his jaw was stuck together.  
  
So they spent the next few minutes trying to get the jaw unstuck. Finally they did, and Harry immediately pointed and said, "Whats that?" And on the floor, they saw a bag of peppermints, with a note attached. The note read, in a hurried scribble: Beware!  
  
"Maybe Malfoy left it here to play a joke on us!" Said Ron. They all thought so, but they didn't understand why they hadn't noticed it before. So for much of the rest of the trip, they speculated on how the peppermints had gotten there. They also had to keep Harry from eating them.  
  
"They might be poisonous," Hermione had said.  
  
And finally, hours later, they felt the train stop, and the doors opened, and they were at Hogwarts.  
  
Authors Note: Shieldmaiden~ If you want to walk on water you have to get out of the boat, boo-yah! Calendia* Anyway, I Hope you liked our 4th chapter of Harry Pottermint. Sorry it was so short, and kinda pointless, but now we can start getting into the actual story!!. Shieldmaiden~ Hold on, let me think! (She had to decide what to say) But for now we must go, Middle-Earth needs us. ~Both* (singing) Across the sea, a pale moon rises....  
  
Serious Note: Please review!! 


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